Please see other testimonials by clicking here

As a child, I was shy (still am) and very awkward toward others due to my hidden handicap. Since it was hard for me to engage in conversation with others because of my deafness, and constantly being made fun of on how I spoke due to speech impairment, I felt I didn’t fit in. But thank the Lord, I had a sister who took up for me and stood by to inform me on everything that others said, and with details of what was going on around me. But when my sister wasn’t around, I was sometimes treated unfairly and rejected by other kids. Therefore I became an angry child.

My mother and father brought my sister and I up in church; and we had a grandmother who constantly witnessed to us about Jesus Christ. God “tugged” at my spirit, but I still wouldn’t listen. I kept putting Him off. Finally, one night God gave me a dream in my sleep. It was a dream that I’ll never forget. It was so real. It was a dream of the rapture taking place. It was amazing because at my age, fourteen at the time, we didn’t hear much about the rapture like we do today. In my dream, I saw Jesus in the clouds with opened arms. People were all ascending toward Him; and I wanted to go, too, but it seemed like no matter how hard I tried, my body wouldn’t lift. I saw my father, mother, grandmother and grandfather, friends and other relatives going up, and I began to cry. “Lord, don’t forget me!...I wasn’t ready, was I?” hoping that the Lord’s coming wasn’t really happening. “Oh, don’t let me be left behind, dear Lord!” The next thing I knew, I was awakened. Trembling with tears, I asked the Lord to forgive me of all that I had done. The next night, which was during a revival that week, I went up and received Jesus Christ into my life.

But as I got older, I drifted from my Lord. My sister had left the family’s nest, and I felt completely alone. She was the one I had depended on for most of my life. People didn’t understand me, nor did I understand them, and the door of that anger I once had opened up again. I felt resentment for people because I felt different. I wasn’t good enough. I then began trying all sorts of ways to better myself, making sure I had a good figure, pretty clothes and all the good looks. If I had that, then people might have something to do with me, I thought. And you know what? They did. I had more friends than I ever had as a child. I actually had friends of my own. But I was led into drinking and staying out all night. I had turned into someone that my family no longer knew. Then I noticed I was having trouble seeing the road when driving at nights. That’s when I discovered I was going blind.

My anger and resentment grew even more. So much that I wanted my life to end. Suicide was the answer, I thought…I was so miserable with myself that I hated myself—I was so miserable that I didn't know what else to do—but to fall on my knees. I called up to heaven, not only asking, “Oh Lord, please help me!” but I surrendered every inch of me to Him.

I’m glad to say that every since then, I don’t often look back; and have never been so overwhelmed with joy in all the days ahead. My Lord has done so much for me and my family. Not only has He protected me from danger and answered many of my prayers, He has even kept the disease of my eyes from progressing. I was told in 1980 that I would be blind within twenty years. It has been twenty-six years and I can see just as well now as I did then. And it seems my speech and hearing has improved, too!—oh, so much better than what they used to be when I was a child. I may not be a perfect human being, but I know that I’m perfect in His sight. I didn’t like myself at one time, but I now know that Jesus can use me for His glory.

So the next time I see the rapture take place, that is, if I’m still around, I’ll not only know that it’s for real, I’ll be a part of it, too. And that, my friend, keeps me smiling all the time.

Jesus’ Love Online Bible

DISCLAIMER:   Saved By Grace Suicide Ministry, or any other team involved, outside or inside the ministry, are not responsible for any form of illness, or individual action of infliction or death upon self or another in any community, state, race, origin, religion, sex, or age, nationally or internationally, concerning those who refuse to seek a new direction upon their life.